To the boyfriend whom I thought would be my husband

Hello there, you know who you are. You’ll probably never see this and that’s okay.

I first want to say that I am sorry.

I am sorry things ended the way that they did.

I am sorry we couldn’t be friends. (*His choice, not mine*)

As you know I have “moved on”.  I don’t really like that term to be frank. Because you will always have a little piece of my heart, so instead I will say that I am happily in a relationship. I took time to reflect, but with being in a new reflection I can’t help, but be sucked back into the time machine of years ago.

For a time I felt guilty. I felt guilty that you didn’t get this side of me. It’s funny as I was trying to describe how I was feeling to a friend I used this analogy (*most of analogies are about food. Why? Because I love it and it’s what I know best*): my ex and I were like white rice. There is nothing wrong with white rice. But my current boyfriend and I are like pork fried rice, full of variety and excitement and substance.

With much time and thought I realized that I couldn’t feel guilty because if you brought out in me, what he brings out in me you wouldn’t be you. It would be a totally different relationship.

So I thank you for the time you did give me. I thank you for all that you taught me.

BUT, we weren’t to marry, because I would’ve been happy. I would NOT have been the happiest girl in the world. I deserve to be and you deserve to make a girl feel this way.

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