The EXes: Part 1- Letting go

So as some of you know or last read I WAS dating a Puerto-Rican black guy. Yes I used the word was, because we aren’t dating anymore. We’ll get to that in Part 2.

(*Don’t skip ahead though- be patient*)

For those of you who don’t know or remember I was dating a white guy. I was the naive girl who thought I could be friends with him as my ex-boyfriend and still be in a relationship and boy was I wrong. Advice that many of you will learn the hard way and it took me 9 long months to learn- you CAN’T be friends with your ex. It’s not healthy for you or your ex nor is it healthy or fair on the current relationship.

But I also made the foolish mistake of using my ex as my best friend. I told him everything wrong in the relationship. And I could never trust his advice because I always thought their was an ulterior motive behind of it. I thought his opinions weren’t based off what was happening, but based off the fact that he wanted to get back together with me.

I told him something terrible that my then boyfriend (Puerto-Rican black guy) had done and my ex (white guy), lost it. My ex wanted to fight him for what he had done to me (*that part is in Part 2 as well*) and called him a lacky. For those who were like me and needed to look it up, here is the definition: a manservant aka my bitch. That was when the line was drawn in the sand. I had broken up with my then boyfriend and got back together with him and when I did my ex had said he lost respect for me. I didn’t care. My then boyfriend made me happy or so I thought.

Someone had asked me a question in the midst of all of this: “Have you let him go?”. It took me a very long time to realize what that had meant. My ex was also in my back pocket and when I needed him there he would be. Letting him go meant no more phone calls or texts. It meant letting go of what I thought my future would be. It meant letting go of the plans we had together and realizing they would never be a reality. Honestly when I got back together with my then boyfriend- I think that he let me go first.

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