Holding it in

It’s like holding water in your hands

Like trying catch a feather in the wind

Like holding sand between your toes

My feelings for you

I can’t hold it in

Every other word I say to you

I want to tell you I love you

I continually convince my tongue not to create and formulate the words in my mouth

Not to string together the vowels and consonants that would make up those words

that so desperately want to leave and spill from my lips and come to life, giving it the oxygen it needs to live

But somehow I manage to hold it in

And I’m not sure how much longer I can

I’m waiting like a child on Christmas morning

I’m waiting for you

I was never good and watching time pass me by

They called me a go getter and a star catcher

But for once, this one time

I don’t want to blow out the candles too quickly

I’ll hold my breath until I can’t anymore depriving myself of the very thing I need to live

Everyday I hope I’ll hear it

Because every time I look at you

Every time you wink

Every time you touch my inner thigh

Every time I’m in your embrace and you hold me I want to whisper those three words to you

And not have to hold it

To unwrap the present

Catch the feather

Unclench my toes and release the sand

Wash my face with the water and become refreshed, rejuvenated

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